by Kevin Egan
Washington (AP)- In his final couple of hours in office, George W. Bush declared war against the state of Hawaii, claiming that its native inhabitants may possibly be connected to terrorist organizations in the Middle East.
In a last-minute joint-session, Congress quickly acted, approving the war, stating the evidence that Bush has promised to provide as early as next week, was strong enough to support his decision to go to war. Though 44th President Barack Obama has already publicly denounced the war, he has gone on the record, stating, “Withdrawing troops from the state of Hawaii will be a long, painful process. I wish I could do it in a day but that is asking the impossible.” He then went on to set 2010 as the starting point for the withdrawal.
When asked whether or not attacking one of our own states seemed reactionary and senseless, all parties involved refused to comment.